Marriage Reset

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of divorce.  But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so.  Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that’s not true.  But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true.  Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Do you want to get back together with your ex?  Don’t write off the relationship just because she dumped you.

Let’s face it. Women can be fickle.  In 3 out of every 4 break ups, it is the woman who calls it off.  But, many times they’re open to re-establishing the relationship.  Breaking up may not have been a well thought out decision, but they are loathe to admit they are wrong and come back to you themselves.

Part of your job is to figure out what went wrong and change it.  If she was bored in the relationship, you need to spice things up.  If she was looking for a flashier guy, a makeover might be in order.  And, if you were too needy, you might just need to back off for a time.

Right now, if you want to get back together with ex, you need to show her that you are exactly the kind of guy she wants to date.

One of the ways to get back together with your ex is to show her that you are an in demand guy.  Every girl says she wants to be unique.  They look for “unique” styles.  But the funny thing is. the “unique” look is all too often just like their friends’ looks.

So, to become the in-demand guy, you have to be seen with in-demand girls.  In fact, trying to date her close friends could be what it takes to actually make her want to get back together with you. (Stoking the fires of jealousy…) This isn’t always a good idea, though, so tread carefully!

You might not want to actually date the people who might continue to be in your life after you get back together with your ex, but you can at least flirt with them.  When you see your ex with a pack of her friends, don’t pay any attention to her.  Instead, lavish attention on her friends.  If she has a particularly plain friend, spend the most time with her.  Just don’t let it get too far. That’s one way to get back together with ex. But like I said, this isn’t always the best tactic. Make sure you know what you are doing (having a complete system for getting her back is the best thing to do!)

Before you go to these lengths, you should evaluate whether she is likely to take you back. Look at how she reacts to you when other guys are around.  When someone puts you down, does she stand up for you?  That is a good sign that she is still into you and will welcome you back into her life.

When you want to get back together with ex, you need to realize that there is a new power relationship at play.  You no longer belong to each other exclusively.  Instead, you are two independent people.

Many guys don’t realize that this power shift has occurred.  While they are down in the dumps about the break up, they don’t change their behavior pattern toward their ex.  This is a big mistake.

When you want to get back together with ex, you will take advantage of the shift in power.  You will woo her by changing the things that she doesn’t like about you or the relationship, become the in-demand guy that all girls want to date, and be a little bit unavailable to her.  If these things don’t work, she probably has moved on and you won’t have much hope of jump starting anything.

However, in many cases, you can get back together with ex.